Re Naruto
by LeviAckerman12396
Summary: [SUMMARY CHANGED] Naruto got adopted by Uchihas? Disastrous. God forbid. Sasuke Hyper-active? What is the world coming too?
1. Uchiha Fugaku adopts a devil

**CHAPTER 1: Uchiha Fugaku adopts a devil!**

The raven haired man was gazing at the third Hokage who sat warily in his chair.

"And Minato died?" He asked.

The Sandaime looked at him tired.

"Yes Fugaku. We were just at his funeral were we not?"

He asked the raven haired man irritated.

"It is still hard to believe."

Fugaku was still in daze.

"And what of the child. He is the vessel is he not?" He sat up alarmed.

"Yes. And I just made a law that no one is to tell him that he is a jinkchuri." The older man quietly replied.

"Sandaime?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I have him?"

The Hokage jumped in alarm as his hat bounced off his head to the ground.

He shook his head a few times and even pinched himself to make sure he was not dreaming.

Uchiha Fugaku who hated children was demanding to have another one? Now this is what a news reporter would call a news.

"Why do you say that?" The Sandaime was finally interested in the talk.

"Well I owe Minato and no one else will be willing to keep a jinkchuri and he is the same age as Sasuke so that's why." Fugaku cleared his throat.

"And I am sure Itachi and Shisui will be delighted." He adds further.

The Sandaime snorted.

"If it's fine with your family he is all yours."

And little Naruto's fate was decided on that day and so was the fate of the Uchiha's compound.


	2. Two demons and two devils

**Thank you to PurpleSnow10 for my first review to a serial fanfic**

**CHAPTER 2: Two demons and two devils!**

Behind the Konoha academy on the o so famous swing sat two raven haired boys, one slightly older than the other.

The academy had been closed for the past two days for the funeral of the Yondaime.

"Hey Itachi?" cried the older one.

"Can I come over to your house today?"

The younger one sighed.

"Why do you even bother asking Shisui? You practically live in my house all day."

Uchiha Shisui jumped happily.

"I'll take that as yes."

Itachi face palmed. "Even if I would have said no you would have taken that as yes."

And they hurried back to the Uchiha compound.

Uchiha Fugaku was experiencing his worst nightmare in reality. He was on a shopping trip with his wife.

The brat he had taken in the day before had given him his first nightmare more swiftly than he had expected.

Apparently Uchiha Mikoto was thrilled and most enthusiastic to have another son even though she just had one. So there he was with his wife, choosing ridiculous and colorful clothing that neither Sasuke nor Naruto would know they are wearing. But the thing he was most worried about was that he had left Itachi and Shisui alone with the two kids in the compound. Not that he doubted Itachi was a trouble maker but still leaving the home in hands of six years old was fairly dangerous.

Uchiha Itachi was frustrated. He was the next head of the clan and he did not know how to change diapers. He looked helplessly from Shisui to Naruto and back to Shisui.

"Do you know how to change a diaper?" Itachi frowned at Shisui.

"Yeah, sure" Shisui boasted with utmost confidence.

"So you don't.

"Hey."

"Don't even try." Itachi warned.

After an agonizing thirty minutes Itachi was able to succeed in his mission aka changing a diaper.

Naruto and Sasuke gave a howl of cry and Sasuke started sucking Shisui's shirt.

"Ooh Sasuke likes me."

Shisui had a lop sided grin on his face.

"They're hungry. I'll get something for them." Itachi ran to the fridge for milk.

While he warmed it Shisui entered the kitchen, in one of his arms were Sasuke and the other was Naruto.

"Ooh my gosh. Itachi the housewife." He teased.

Itachi threw a ladle at his face. Shocked Shisui tried to cover his face, forgetting that he was carrying both the toddlers. Before they fell to their death Itachi grabbed them.

The two started wailing like banshees wailing on death. In his hurry Itachi knocked out the stove and in a few minutes the Uchiha compound lit up like a lantern.

Fugaku didn't have a chance to relieve from his first nightmare when he saw his death. His house was glowing, four kids were blacked with soot, whole of the compound was at his door, Madara was shrieking like an old lady and Obito was praising the demon duo on setting the house on fire. Fugaku secretly wished he could go back to the shopping trip.


	3. Kids need a devilsitter

**CHAPTER 3: Kids need a devilsitter!**

If Fugaku thought that Sasuke and Naruto were a handful when they cried all the time he needed to think again. Now that they could crawl all around the house, hardly anything was labeled as safe. The infants' record time was one item per five seconds. Fugaku looked around his room. He had already thrown everything out, broken.

Usually parents are proud of their children, had they been so able as such, but here Fugaku was crying. In contrast Mikoto had increased her enthusiasm ten times fold and was pushing Shisui and Itachi even more to play pranks than before to teach the kids. Thus this resulted in a total madhouse emerging from the Uchiha compound.

What was more –no- what was the limit that Mikoto had given the Baby feeding duty to Fugaku.

Now each day when Fugaku entered his office all his subordinates had to stifle their laughs because he was usually covered with food from head to toe.

It was time Fugaku got a babysitter. No no. He said it wrong. What he need is a devilsitter. So he put his job with the Hokage as an S-rank mission.

Two days later a battalion has assembled in front of the Uchiha compound wearing full protected armor and battle gear as prescribed by the Hokage according to the famous rumors flying which stated that two devils more dangerous than Kyuubi have appeared.

Kakashi, Obito, Rin, Gai, Kurenai, Anko, even Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orichimaru and at the head of them was Madara.

Fugaku wished them good luck and flew at top speed towards his office out of sight.

After an hour long lecture from Mikoto on to keep the boys safe, the battalion started their mission officially.


	4. Mission part 1: Breakfast

**Sorry for not making some things clear but most of you have already guessed that this fanfic has an AU past. Madara and Orochimaru have not gone phyco. Rin and Obito are alive. Rest is canon or maybe changed in future.**

**CHAPTER 4: Mission part 1: Breakfast!**

There was a hustle bustle while Madara dish out orders to everyone as the toddlers had finally woken. Unfortunately Tsunade was just above when they did, so Sasuke grabbed her right pony tail while Naruto grabbed her left and pulled. Tsunade shrieked while everyone sweat dropped. At least they received a warning. What followed put hell to shame.

All the girls went to kitchen to prepare the perfect food for the two otherwise 'the culinary chefs' would probably destroy Konoha. Meanwhile the boys got the daring job aka keeping the two busy while breakfast was being prepared. Kakashi, Obito and Gai got Sasuke while Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Madara were in charge of Naruto. After exact ten seconds Naruto decided that he was being neglected and jumped out of his cot the moment Jiraiya turn to talk to Orichimaru and out of sight .When Madara saw this he paled.

"Damn you Sanins, where the little devil is?"

He activated his Sharingan and ran outside the room. Deciding he needed to join the fun Sasuke threw one of his hard block toys at Kakashi which unfortunately stuck right at his missing eye and he howled. Gai thinking Kyuubi was unleashed, opened his gates of power which Obito made sat up in alarm, knocking the table and chairs, which fell on Jiraiya and Orochimaru. Jiraiya released the giant toad while Orochimaru released a giant snake quite by accident. In the meantime Madara came back with Naruto in his hands and shrieked seeing the mess, dropping Naruto. Both Sasuke and Naruto giggled as Tsunade, Rin, Anko and Kurenai slipped on the mess and fell right on the toppled dining set. Side effects of wearing heels.

10 minutes on their mission and they were failing horribly. What would Hokage sama say? No he would congratulate them for being alive with them for 10 minutes.

After the destruction of 13 breakfast sets, a broken fridge handle, spilled food all over the house, destruction of 3/4th of the compound's roof, complete short circuit of all the wires and 8 stoves on fire, the breakfast duty was completed. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Well until another shriek was heard from the doorway. Mikoto had returned.


	5. Mission part 2: Street Punks

**CHAPTER 5: Mission Part 2: The Street Punks**

It was a lucky day for the shopkeepers. Uchiha Mikoto had been shopping for her two little boys. And when she did the shopkeepers made a fortune. Everyone was celebrating when suddenly a giggle was heard. If it would have been an innocent giggle there was nothing to fear but those who identified it used to have nightmares about it. It was the laugh of Uzumaki Naruto. For those who had encountered the Kyuubi, would call the latter 'pleasant'.

Naruto was jumping in Tsunade's arms viewing the bright neon lights. His eyes were sparkling. Anko had to drag Gai and Kurenai to hospital after both got wounded despite wearing the battle gear. Thus they bailed out.

"Oooh." Sasuke widened his eyes in admiration. But the group knew better. Trouble was on its way.

Jiraiya tightened his grip on the boy.

The first unfortunate shop was a toy shop.

There was a large frog displayed on the window sill and Naruto immediately jumped from Tsunade's arms at an extraordinary speed and crawled in.

The said company hurried after him.

"What can I do for you?" The shopkeeper asked them who for some reason was oblivious to the nobility present in his shop.

Naruto tugged at the end of the frogs' clothe legs and whined.

"I guess we will have to buy that Madara sama to avoid any traumatic experience and for the safety of Konoha." Obito advised in such a serious way that Madara had to consider it. Madara nodded at Kakashi who pointed at the frog.

"We would like that."

"That would be 10000 Ryo"

Everyone gaped when suddenly a killing intent was sensed.

Naruto was red eyed and gave the shopkeeper the look that said.

"You better decrease the amount or otherwise…"

Another killing intent and all eyes focused on Sasuke who was also glaring but his eyes were a different red with one tomoe in each eye which conveyed.

"… or I'll personally take you for a tour to hell."

Nevertheless to say the frog was obtained for free.

On the other hand Obito and Madara fainted after seeing Sasuke's sharingan and Tsunade and Jiraiya both ran away after screaming what sounded like "The Kyuubi has been released" all around the village.

Orichimaru excused himself for washroom. ( he is plain weird )

In conclusion, Rin and Kakashi had to take the two kids back to the Uchiha compound.

Fugaku was sad. Mikoto was happy. Itachi was somewhat jealous. And Shisui was Shisui.

The Devil-Baby sitter job had barely lasted till noon meaning Fugaku had to do the baby feeding duty again so he did nothing but sulk.

Mikoto looked happily at the boys who showed visible signs of joy at all the clothing and toys she had bought.

Itachi, though he would never really admit it out loud but he was jealous of his little brother who had activated the sharingan at only six months of age.

Shisui was so impressed that he was thinking of making more advance pranks for the kids to follow.

Sandaime looked at the mission report submitted by Rin. A word 'FAILED' was written in capital letters on the top. He sighed. One more document to ever-ending list of paperwork.

**I think I've grown evil. **


	6. Sweet first words

**CHAPTER 6: Sweet First Words**

Itachi was banging his head on the wall when his father entered.

"What happened to you?" Fugaku asked his son not even bothering to look at him.

"Shisui happened." Itachi cried out in frustration. "He is going to drive me insane. Damn him. What the fuck is wrong with him?"

Fugaku looked at his son oddly. Shisui probably went overboard because no matter how irritated Itachi was he kept his vocabulary in check.

"Language Itachi." Mikoto scolded as she entered. Despite his quiet and kind demeanor Itachi silently glared at his mother and shook his fist and exited the room.

"I wonder if he is entering in his rebellious stage?" Mikoto wondered out loud.

"He's six dear." Fugaku replied nonchalantly.

"Hmm so we are alone right now." Mikoto said with a sly smile.

Fugaku was just going to reply when an agonizing wail was heard from the mouth of Naruto and Mikoto rushed out.

'At least give me ten seconds brats.' Fugaku thought.

"Fuck."

"Itachi."

"Sorry."

Mikoto sighed.

"Damn you Shisui" Itachi screamed yet again as he fell into the pit.

Uchiha Madara burst out of his front door with a pan in one hand and a ladle in other.

"Uchiha Itachi, save that language for enemies."

"Yes sir." Itachi replied still angry.

"Hokage sama." Fugaku spoke as soon as he entered the room.

"Ah Fugaku. Come."

Fugaku settled in the seat and simply raised his eyebrow in question.

"You are wondering why I called you here?" Fugaku nodded.

"Well. I want to give you a D rank mission." Fugaku looked at the Hokage like he had gone insane. Fugaku and D-rank simply didn't go in the same sentence together. He was an Uchi-

Fugaku stopped his train of thoughts as soon as Hokage put the file in front of him.

"Stop Uchiha Itachi from cursing all around Konoha."

Client:- All Villagers plus clans including the Uchihas.

Fugaku glared at the Hokage who suddenly became very interested in the paperwork piled on the desk.

"Itachi." Fugaku spoke sternly to the son in front of him.

"Yes Father."

"You've been going cursing around the village, haven't you?"

"Only to Shisui." Fugaku sighed.

"Don't. It gives a bad impression of me."

"And it can influence bad language on Sasuke and Naruto." Mikoto said holding the two kids.

"They can't even speak mother." Itachi said quietly but frustrated.

Naruto suddenly giggled earning the attention of everyone in the room.

"Fuuuuu"

"Ahhhh"

Mikoto squealed. "Fugaku look he is trying to say something."

"Fahhh"

"Don't tell me he is going to say 'father' to me." Fugaku said with surprise.

"Faahcc."

"What baby?"

Sasuke possibly irritated due to the attention Naruto was getting started to imitate him.

"Faak."

"Fuck." Sasuke and Naruto chorused at the same time. All three of the others in the room paled but the two infants giggled.

No need to say Itachi vowed on his life never to curse again.

While in Hokage tower, the Sandaime was wondering what does 'Mission Completed Permanently' meant.


	7. Grown Up

**CHAPTER 7: Grown Up?**

Two heads were spotted in the not so deserted streets.

One blond. Other blue.

One hyperactive. Other hyper-active.

One had grey hoodie with black shirt and netted top underneath, black pants and the other blue shirt and white shorts.

"Naruto let's go play at the park." Sasuke jumped a huge smile on his face.

"No." Naruto said firmly to the other six year old.

"What? Why?" Sasuke whined.

"I've been working on a technique." Naruto said in a calm and dangerous voice.

Sasuke's eyes widen in realization. "No way."

"Show me." He ordered.

Naruto performed hand signs and Sasuke fainted from a nosebleed.

Itachi had returned from a hard die assassination mission and was tired. His parents were not him and neither were Naruto and Sasuke. He had a faint idea where his parents maybe. Good thing he was on a mission and not stuck in a clan meeting.

He'll just go to Ichikaru's to eat. Not just to eat though.

He went to his closet and opened it to get a decent style of cloths out. He stared at the closet.

Thirty minutes time skip and he is still staring.

Blue or black.

He had spent thirty minutes in front of his wardrobe thinking what to wear. What was he? A love-sick teen? Not like he had a choice of orange or yellow being an Uchiha. He had nothing to wear on his date.

He dreaded doing this but Ayame would have killed him if he came in blue and black. He went to Shisui and regretted it immediately.

Sometimes Shisui was worse than a shopaholic.

"So I think a green hue would suit you a lot."

"How about lavender… no wait. You'll look too girly."

"Try a white shirt… it looks too formal."

Itachi's patience was wearing thin.

There were four people who drove him nuts. Obito, Shisui, Sasuke and Naruto.

Thus he snatched the dark green shirt and black pants (he was absolutely not going with lavender) and dashed as fast as he could out of Shisui's line of sight.

Ayame gasped.

She loved Itachi in blue and black. It suited him.

She didn't know who in their right mind suggested green to him but he was really stupid.

Maybe Shisui. Yeah figures. He was stupid.

"So…" she said smilingly. "What do you want?"

"Anything." He smiled a little. "Make it for me."

"That was awesome." Sasuke cried standing in front of Ichikaru's. Itachi froze.

Why did his date had to end like this?

"Oh you're here nee-san?" Sasuke asked.

"Itachi." Naruto smirked knowingly and Itachi resisted the temptation to glare at him. If he told Sasuke about his date, he is so dead.

Suddenly Sasuke's face deformed which only meant trouble for Itachi. He looked at Naruto and Naruto looked back passing an understanding.

"Nee-san." Sasuke said sweetly. Too sweetly. Itachi tried to take ages to look at them.

"Check this out."

And he made hand signs, transformed into a *cough* nude *cough* sexy girl while Itachi gasped and nosebleed, and Ayame was onto him, her face scorched by anger. Poor Itachi was send flying by his girlfriend and landed in the hot springs. Girl hot springs.

"PERVERT!"

Naruto and Sasuke giggled and gobbled down their ramen.

Jiraiya looked up from his research. Why did it feel like someone had snatched away his title?


	8. Horrors of Dealing with Fangirls

**CHAPTER 8: Horrors of Dealing with Fangirls **

What an unpopular boy hates most in his academy life is that girls aren't swooning over him. What a popular boy hates most is that girls are swooning over him.

Our heroes are in that current problem. Thus they are forming a plan to enter the classroom without getting ambushed.

Uchiha Sasuke had the most number of fangirls in his fanclub. While Yamanaka Ino aka Ino-pig was its head the majority of girls in his class were after him. Naruto was most of the time safe from their nagging because he was listed No. 2.

Heck he even found a paper containing his biography and personal comments from his fangirls who went as far as to describe him with word like "cute, dreamy, nice." Were these girls absolutely insane? He didn't even remember the last time he had been 'nice'. The girls had always taken turns to cling to him like leeches but now they were holding tournament near to death where the winner gets to spend the whole day with their 'Sasuke-kun'.

Probably side effect of hormones.

Sasuke went to every single teacher he knew and asked them to teach him an absolute defense technique against fangirls and everyone looked at him like he had gone crazy. Not like he was sane either.

Naruto had an all different story. Even though he was second on the list when some of the weak willed girls found themselves incompetent to fight over Sasuke they turned to Naruto. After two to three days they were always knocked out cold by Byakugan. The ANBU were tracking whoever was hitting them. They even added the entry to their BINGO book as following:

"Anonymous Byakugan user related with academy kuniochis: Wonder how is he still alive though?"

But Naruto knew better. To kill a fangirl you need a fangirl. And here was only one fangirl who had Byakugan.

Hyuuga Hinata. Sure enough he had a hunch that someone was continuously watching him and sure enough he felt a presence when he turned on his sensor.

After two weeks he snapped and called out to Hinata. After he heard no answer he walked towards the tree and found Hinata as red as tomato, fainted and mumbling his name. Needless to say Naruto ran for his life.

There was another girl. Haruno Sakura.

Naruto and Sasuke knew next to nothing about her but she was the only one in class who would respect their privacy. She would say hi like a normal person and fantasize at the same time. At least she wasn't creepy.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Same problem, huh?" Fugaku sighed as his two sons were banging their heads against the tables.

"Don't worry you guys have it easy, yet." Fugaku said with grin.

"What do you mean yet?" Sasuke groaned.

"You don't have a 'girlfriend' or worse a 'wife'. Believe me they are even more life threatening than the fangirls you have. Take your mother as an example."

"Why are you telling them to take my example?" Mikoto asked sweetly entering.

"Crap." Fugaku muttered.

"One word of advice of kids. Enjoy fangirls while you can. Not like I want to sound like Gai but enjoy youth." And Mikoto dragged him out by his collar.

"Who's Gai?" Sasuke asked confused.

"Never heard of him." Naruto shrugged.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Somewhere else Maito Gai looked at the sky.

"Yosh. Someone is enjoying youth." A sunset genjutsu appeared killing an innocent passerby.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

**I just realized my separators were not showing. Sorry about that.**


	9. Uchiha Massacre

**Before you read it I sincerely apologize for this crack. But since its labeled humor and since it's a massacre I could not think of any other way to write it.**

**CHAPTER 9: Uchiha Massacre?**

It was a great day. The sky was blue, the roses were red, the sugar was still sweet much to the dismay of Sasuke and well the sun was yellow.

Admiring the beauty of the village, Sasuke and Naruto entered the Uchiha compound. As soon as they stepped in all they saw was red.

Bodies or corpses were lying on the ground with visible signs of fighting. Blood splattered and weapons discarded.

"Umm. Madara jiji why are you holding a scary picture to our face?" Sasuke asked visibly confused.

Naruto too raised an eyebrow.

"Let me tell you, you two rascals. I know you stole my candy. If you don't want to end up like in this picture give them back now." Madara glared at them.

"We don't have it." Sasuke answered shaking his head.

"Why would we have candies. We're ten for goodness sake." It was Naruto's turn to glare at him.

Madara immediately paled. "So it was Izuna?" He whispered.

The boys looked at him dumbfounded. Wasn't Uchiha Izuna dead?

Whe he didn't get an answer he screamed something about 'my poor baby brother' and ran at top speed leaving a very confused duo.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Fugaku sama." Obito was gasping for breath.

"Help." He collapsed.

All four Uchihas in the house namely Fugaku, Itachi, Shisui and Mikoto were on their feet immediately , Sharingan activated , weapons in their hands.

After making sure that he wasn't struck by an enemy, they carried him inside.

"Obito what happened?"

"Water…" his weak voice came. Shisui shot to the kitchen and brought a glass of water. After Obito had gulped it down.

"Food." He croaked again. Four pairs of eyes turned to him.

Finally, Shisui got out a chocolate bar and gave it to Obito which he wolfed down.

"Now what happened?" Itachi was growing impatient.

"Madara jiji has confiscated all food items until he finds his stash of candies." Obito made out finally. "And he won't let anyone buy anything."

"This is bad. If this keeps happening all of the Uchiha clan will be wiped out." Fugaku muttered horrid.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"So what are we doing here, again?" Sasuke asked his voice disgusted.

"Finding candy." His father replied.

After Obito had delivered the news and Sasuke and Naruto shared their side of the story, the family of even was in the oldest cellar of Uchiha compound finding candy.

"Why are we looking here?" Sasuke complained again.

"Because this is the only place Madara jiji hasn't looked yet." Fugaku answered again.

"Can I get a light? It's dark here." A light was passed onto him and Sasuke held it firmly.

"It's absolutely dusty here and the smell is getting to me." Sasuke whined.

"We know that, Sasuke." His mother said patiently.

"Ouch there a lot of pointed things here." Guess who?

No one even bothered to answer.

"Why would candy be here in the first place?" He was really getting annoying. Ten seconds.

"I think I saw a spider crawling here." Everyone sighed.

"Isn't…"

"Shut up Sasuke."

Everyone screamed, including Naruto.

"At this rate it'll only take Sasuke's complaining to wipe out the Uchiha clan." Naruto huffed.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"You traitor." Sasuke hissed.

"I'm feeling hungry." Itachi said.

"Yep me too." Obito agreed.

"Want some chocolates?" Shisui offered.

Everyone took one. Not like they had many options anyway.

Two hours later and no luck.

Fugaku was exhausted. Just as he was about to take a nap, a young Uchiha slammed in his house.

"What is it?" Fugaku asked annoyed.

"Sir, I've been looking for you for two hours. I've got to report. Nearly all the Uchihas have fainted from starvation." Saying this he fainted and hearing this Fugaku fainted.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Shisui came to everyone's rescue. Shisui came. Shocking.

Well anyway he fished out a stash of chocolate, cakes, muffins and candies to everyone.

'Candies.' Fugaku clicked.

'Candies.' Itachi clicked.

'Candies' Naruto and Sasuke clicked.

And all four face-palmed. Of course leave it to Shisui. Before they could make it to him Madara did.

"Shisui chan." Madara used –chan. Everyone shuddered.

"Where do you get the candy?"

"I think it was on you front table. Oh…" Shisui had finally figured it out. He was the one.

Regardless, the Uchiha Massacre was prevented, Shisui still died.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It was raining. A silent funeral.

All Uchihas were there paying their final respect to the man who was the greatest villain and hero in Uchiha history.

"Hey I'm still alive." Shisui cried from the back row.

Everyone ignored him.

()()()()()()()()()

**The only excuse I have is that I love candies to. And I'll massacre anytime for them.**


	10. Meeting Kyuu-chan

**Bold is Kyuubi speaking not me.**

**CHAPTER 10: Meeting Kyuu-chan?**

"Ouch." Naruto grabbed his stomach and doubled over with pain.

His stomach had been swirling for quite a time just like Sasuke's sharingan swirls when he activates it. Suddenly a horrible thought came to Naruto's mind. What if he had eaten Sasuke's eyes? He was pretty sleepy at breakfast and he couldn't even remember what he had eaten.

"Sasuke. Do you still have your eyes in your sockets?" Naruto asked him entering his room.

"Yes why?" Sasuke looked at the blond with a confused look.

"No I was under the impression that I had eaten them for breakfast?"

"I would have been screaming bloody murder and revenge now if that would have happened." Sasuke shrugged.

"Point." Naruto huffed. "Maybe someone else's eyes…" He trailed off.

"**Brat it's me." **Came a voice.

"Sasuke." Naruto had the most serious expression a 12 year old could have. "I think I'm being haunted."

"Cool" Sasuke said stars in his eyes. "So what's the ghost is like?" Sasuke activated his Sharingan and frantically started looking around.

Both Naruto and Sasuke suddenly found themselves in a dark damp sewer in front of bars with seals. Two red glowing eyes pores holes in them.

"**Cower beneath my might puny humans. Ha ha ha aha ha." **A deep voice rumbled.

"Great sound effects." Naruto commented. "By the way who are you?"

" **I am the great, strong, powerful, smart, handsome, might, majestic…"**

"Enough with the adjectives, Mr. I Have A Big Ego. A better introduction perhaps." Sasuke interjected.

"**Wait you don't know me?" **The voice had a hint of disbelief.

"No." Both shook their heads in disagreement.

"Are you the Fourth Hokage? Because that's the only person I know who is great, powerful, smart and handsome." Naruto offered.

"**Not that twerp. Try again."**

"How about his wife? Surely she was greater than the Yondaime." Sasuke suggested thinking of his own mom.

The figure nodded.

"**You guys are lucky I am not her."**

"Then you're probably the girl who lost her glass slipper and got lost finding it and was sent to hell as punishment. What was her name again? Yeah. Cinderella." Sasuke tried.

"I don't think that's how the story goes, Sasuke." Naruto sweatdropped.

"**Glass slipper? Seriously? Do humans wear that now a days?" **

"So break the cake? Which dead guy are you?" Sasuke was tired of playing the game.

"**Pathetic what do they teach the kids in school these days? And who said anything about me being dead? I am the one and only Nine tailed fox."**

With that the fox emerged in all its glory or whatever it had left of considering the cage and all.

Silence.

"Oh." Naruto and Sasuke both made out.

"**That's it?" **yelled the Kyuubi.

"**No 'You should be dead.' Or 'The Fourth Hokage killed you.' Or 'Please spare us Kyuubi sama'?"**

"So you're not a ghost? Disappointing." Naruto huffed.

"**Ghost? How can you compare me to such a… such a… I don't even have a word for it." **Kyuubi yelled indignantly.

"Exactly." Naruto said. "Which explains why I would like to meet one."

"Nice place by the way." Sasuke smirked h9is voice dripping with sarcasm.

"**This is inside of your stomach brat." **Kyuubi pointed towards Naruto.

"Wait you're telling me you've been freeloading in my stomach all the time and haven't paid the rent once?" Naruto glared at him.

"Pay up." He demanded.

"**You've got to be joking." **Kyuubi looked at him.

"Sasuke." Naruto turned to his adopted brother.

Sasuke nodded and gave Kyuubi a full sharingan powered glare which showed him a horrible and dreadful genjutsu in which he and the fourth were eating cookies and drinking tea together.

Kyuubi gave a howl of despair.

"**Stop. Stop. Anything. I'll do anything. Not this. I'll give you all my chakra and will become your slave just stop this."**

Naruto and Sasuke did a high five while Kyuubi went into a corner whimpering and sobbing.

()()()()()()()()()()()

"You what?" Fugaku jumped as soon as the two boys had filled him on what had happened.

"Yeah. And Kyuu chan is pretty obedient now." Sasuke said munching a cookie.

"Kyuu chan?" Fugaku asked slowly.

"Naruto gave him a nickname. Since he wouldn't say he's real one."

Poor Fugaku slumped back in his seat.

'Ha ha ha. I wonder what Minato died for?' he thought.

()()()()()()()()()()()

**To answer rainwolf42 I practically suck at writing romance so I don't think I'll be doing any shipping. I am not going to specify who ends up with who. Just pair up yourselves as you wish. Sorry.**


	11. How Mei became the Mizukage

**I have no idea where this came from.**

**CHAPTER 11: The Circumstances of Mei becoming the Mizukage OR How Yagura **_**really **_**died**

"Mei sama. Wake up please." Ao screamed shaking the leaders of the rebels.

"5 more minutes." Mei yawned and flipped over to the other side of the bed.

"Mei sama we don't have 5 more minutes. Our forces will be annihilated on the battlefield till then.

"Battlefield?" The beauty opened one of her eyes.

"Hello. We are in a middle of throwing Mizukage Yagura from his seat." Ao clicked his finger in front of the half sleeping leader.

Mei jumped out of the bed.

"Tell me that sooner." She hurriedly grabbed her makeup and got ready real quick.

Ao sweatdropped.

"Was that really necessary?"

"If I am going to the battlefield a women is supposed to look dashing. Who knows my beauty alone can strike down the opponents." She winked.

'Right.' Ao thought. 'Like that's going to happen. Yagura won't fell for her unless he seriously prefers older women.'

Much to Ao's horror Yagura did fell over dead after facing Mei.

And by facing he meant 'facing' like seeing the other.

To confirm he too looked at his leader and if it wasn't for his self-restraint with being with the woman in in front of him for years, he too would have died from shock.

Mei in her half sleep state had done an amazing job applying her make up. Hell even the Shinigami would have fell dead after seeing her.

So Ao did her a favor and drenched her with a water jutsu to wash off the makeup and save some face in front of the army who were cheering at Yagura's defeat.

"Mei sama from now on you're our next Mizukage." One of the soldiers cried.

"Eh why?" Mei asked puzzled.

"Weren't you fighting to overthrow the Mizukage?" Another voice came from the crowd.

"Hell no." Mei denied. " I just got in a fight with him because he banned the sale of my favorite brand in the village and wouldn't agree no matter how much I pushed him so I declared a war on him."

She ended with a hum.

Everyone sweatdropped while Ao was thinking maybe he shouldn't have removed the makeup. That might have been less embarrassing.


	12. Graduation

**CherryPetals0510: Yeah. It's not just you. My writing style **_**does **_**change after every few chapters. Sorry. I can't seem to write in one style.**

**Rainwolf042: Don't worry. Sakura is still in it. And I don't plan on making her useless.**

**CHAPTER 12: Graduation**

When Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke entered the graduation room people were divided in to three sects.

Sect one which included Fugaku was happy that probably both the kids we'll be on mission guaranteeing some peace in the village.

Sect two which included Sandaime was horrified to think what the duo would do if they are sent on missions.

Sect three which not surprisingly only consisted of Mikoto was sad that the babies had become adult.

"Kyuubi is the worst demon in the history." The teacher spat. Naruto glared at him.

"I am even greater." He replied.

"Don't compare me to a fox who only knows how to rage."

"No I'm sorry Kyuu chan." He added. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Naruto-kun" Iruka gulped again. "We need something to evaluate you."

Naruto thought for a moment. Then a sly grin came onto his face. Iruka regretted saying 'something.'

When Uchiha Sasuke entered the room after Naruto he was not sure whether to laugh or pity at the state of the examiners. No wonder Naruto beat all of them probably from the help of chibi Kyuubi. So he did them a favor and showed them a genjutsu in which they were at least dying peacefully.

Both Naruto and Sasuke were gulping Ramen like their life depended on it.

"Congratulations you two on passing." Itachi told them.

"Thank you nee-san." Sasuke said mouth full.

"By the way when the teacher says you have to show E-ranked jutsu for graduation that doesn't mean go around using S-ranked jutsus." Itachi said his face amused.

"It's not a problem. Right, Itachi? As long as we graduate." Naruto swished him off.

"I wonder when you're going to call me nee-san?" Itachi pouted at him.

"Pay for this snack and I'll call you that for a week."

"Sure. If it's not over 10 bowls."

"I'm on 22nd though." Naruto turned to him.

"EH?"

Sandaime was crying. Those kids. Couldn't they just pass the exam like normal people. No. They had to go and cause more paperwork for him. Life couldn't be worse.

"Hokage sama" An ANBU burst in the office. "Konohamaru has painted the Hokage mountain again."

Sure. Life could be worse.


	13. Team Introductions

**I'll try to make it longer. I write short so I can update more quickly. :)**

**CHAPTER 13: Team Introductions**

The room was bustling with jounins who all wore poker faces. It was _that _time of the year. They were taking on squads no doubt about that.

"Listen here Kakashi. As much as I am good with children I do not appreciate the Inuzuka dogs biting and spitting on me, Hyuugas and Yamanaka reading my brains, Akimichis leaving my wallet empty, Aburames bugs and Naras laziness. That's too much to handle. But most of all I do not want either Naruto or Sasuke on my team. Even I can't keep control of them 24/7." Shisui finished his speech.

"I thought you liked the pair." Kakashi hummed from beneath his mask.

"As a brother sure. As a teacher, spare me Kakashi." The raven haired shuddered.

Silence fell as the Sandaime walked in. He looked at Shisui with a look that promised pain for all the paperwork he had caused him with his pranks.

()()()()()()()()()()()

"Team 7 Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura." Sandaime looked up from the paper for a brief moment and to his shock no one was in sight. Well not his problem now.

"Team sensei Uchiha Shisui"

'He seriously hates me' Shisui thought crying, while others looked over him with sympathy.

()()()()()()()()()()()

After Iruka had called out the team placement he was welcomed with several shrieks of surprise and pleasure, groans of displeasure, grunts of cockiness, and sighs of troublesome. Duh. His expected reactions.

()()()()()()()()()()()

Shisui went as slow as possible towards the academy. He wanted to savor his last moments of freedom fully after all.

()()()()()()()()()()()

"I'll go first." Shisui said eyeing the trio verily while leaning on the railing on the rooftop.

"My name is Uchiha Shisui. My likes are pranking everyone, my home my friends, Shunshin-ing (_is that even a word? Whatever)_, annoy Itachi the most, then come Fugaku-san I guess and playing with kids and strategizing with the Sandaime and…" Shisui went on dreamily, probably lost somewhere. The three students looked at each other an understanding passing between them.

"… and I love Naruto and Sasuke." Shisui finally finished and coming back to the world of living finally.

The first thing he noticed was his three students were sitting in a circle playing cards.

"Royal Flush." Naruto smirked.

"Damn you Naruto." Sasuke yelled frustrated.

"I take back what I said about loving them." Shisui muttered.

"Oi guys come back here."

All three grudgingly went back.

"Then my dislikes are…"

"I think I'll go first sensei." Naruto interjected before Shisui could start again. At this rate they would be there till sunset.

Shisui reluctantly agreed. And he had even thought of a nice speech with his dream.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto. My likes are Ramen, gambling and drinking." Sakura's eyes widened.

"You're 13."

"Don't care. I have awesome luck while gambling and I'm immune to alcohol. Seriously you'll need every bit of alcohol in Konoha to get me drunk courtesy to Kyuu-chan."

"Right." Sakura muttered. "Kyuu-chan. Forgot."

While Shisui yelled at him. "Don't hang around Tsunade."

"My dislikes are scumbags who leave their friends behind."

"Like hell you're in a position to say that. Who ditches me in front of mom after we get caught for pranks?"

"Correction, Sasuke _kun._ You're the one who gets caught. You're just slow to run." Naruto said sweetly.

In response Sasuke gave him a full Sharingan glare.

"My hobbies are pranking thanks to Sensei. And my future dream is to become the greatest Hokage and annoy the hell out of everyone."

'All the more reason he doesn't make Hokage.' Shisui thought.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke. My likes are peeping in dad's secret files, going through Itachi's weapons and stuff and training.

Shisui made a mental note to alert both named victims.

"I also dislike scumbags who leave their friends behind." He looked at Naruto who stuck out his tongue in response.

"And my future dream is to aid Naruto should he become Hokage."

'Traitor.' Shisui thought.

"I am Haruno Sakura. I like fighting Ino pig and cute boys. My hobby is finding cute boys and training I guess." Both the boys inched away from her.

"I dislike people who makes fun of others. And my future dream is ummm… I don't really have one instead of marrying my knight in shining armor. I guess aiding Naruto in the future would do for now. So I guess I am with them in their pranks." She glanced sheepishly at her teammates.

Shisui's smile fell into the depths of hell and he mentally vowed to kill Sandaime.


	14. Some People Never Learn

**Tobee: About Chapter six Poor Itachi had a trauma hearing those words from his baby brothers so he vowed himself.**

**And that's some awesome amount of reviews you gave. I had a heart attack. Lol my surprise when the reviews jumped from 19 to 32. I thought something was wrong with my laptop and I reloaded the page again and again.**

**CHAPTER 14: Some People Never Learn**

"Ok guys." Shisui called after he had cursed the Sandaime enough.

"You see you guys haven't graduated yet."

"Huh?" All three looked at him dumbfounded.

Shisui cleared his throat.

"You see the graduating exam was just an elimination round to see who actually has the guts to make genin." He immediately felt killing intent on him. He should've chosen his words more carefully. 'Guts' had a negative effect.

Shisui knew his students were ready to be genin if they could radiate a killing intent of that intensity but still think of all the paper work he would have to do if he didn't give them the test.

"So like I was saying." He continued slowly. "That I'll be taking your test tomorrow at 8.00 sharp."

() () () () () () () () () ()

It was 8 in the morning and all three soon to be genins found their sensei already waiting for them.

"Sensei." Sakura said in a sweet voice. "You look very handsome today."

Shisui blushed. " Ah..ah.. Thank you Sakura."

Naruto turned to the other two. "Pay up." He smirked. "I told you he'd blush like crazy."

"Oi just because I don't have a girlfriend don't go on me like that." Shisui said crying anime tears.

"Sorry sensei. We'll take you for lunch." Shisui brightened up but retreated after seeing the mischievous glint in Sasuke's eyes. "After you pass us."

() () () () () () () () () ()

Shisui smiled.

1.8 seconds. That was the time it took his team to take a decision. He had asked Kakashi to summon his ninken and told three of them to have a staring contest with his genin while he himself went away.

The rules were simple. The first one to look away or flee loses and goes back to academy unless the ninken looked away and each of them pass. The test sounded ridiculous.

Fifteen minutes and the ninkens were really regretting agreeing to Shisui's test. That was when there was a blast and smoke started rising from a nearby field.

His three genins took turn glancing each other. Passing a quick understanding they fled to the direction of the smoke.

() () () () () () () () () ()

"You pass." Shisui smiled at them.

"So it was a test?" Sasuke muttered intelligently.

Sakura and Naruto gave him a 'duh' look.

"I know you possess great hurts and you're really nice."

"So Shisui sensei." Naruto rubbed his hand together gleefully. "Ready to go to lunch?"

"Oh sure." Shisui answered happily.

"Thanks for treating us." All three cheered and sprinted fast probably towards the nearest restaurant.

It took Shisui a moment to register what had happened.

"Oh."

() () () () () () () () () ()

"Team 7: Passed." Shisui told the Sandaime.

"You don't look happy." Kakashi patted Shisui.

The said person sighed mournfully.

"Tell that to my wallet please."

**Sometimes I think I made this fanfic to torment Shisui. The bell test was getting old by the way.**


	15. Why do Uchihas hate D-ranks?

**This Chapter is personally one of my fav.**

**CHAPTER 15: Why do Uchihas hate D-ranks?**

Somehow Shisui was not this miserable when the three had tricked into him treating them than he was now as they were heading to get their first official mission.

When Sasuke and Naruto had told their family that they had become genin all of them were very proud.

But as soon as they mentioned taking a mission the looks they received were of pure pity.

Mikoto and Fugaku had encouraged them not to give up, Itachi had just sighed, Shiusi sensei and Obito smiled sadly.

In the next few hours every single Uchiha was over, giving them words of consoling.

Heck even Kyuu chan had given them the 'can understand your pain' look.

Rin and Kakashi had sent letters reassuring their sanity.

Thus the three could not understand what was bad about these missions.

They were in the Hokage tower and the Sandaime looked at them ruefully.

"I am most regretful and sad to be saying this but you end up with Tora mission."

"No." Shisui backed away groaning.

"Not that one."

"We're taking it." Sasuke said irritated. For the life of him he could not understand what was all this about.

Before they left the tower they heard the old Hokage muttering.

"There goes another genin team. Scarred for the rest of their lives."

() () () () () () () () () ()

Sasuke took one step back.

Shisui was glaring at him.

Sasuke took another step back.

Sakura was glaring at him.

Sasuke took yet another step back.

Naruto was glaring at him.

He would be glaring at himself right now but being an Uchiha he had his pride and ego.

"Is something wrong?" he played innocent.

"Apparently not." Shisui said finally calming down. He had finally explained the true nature of the mission which was provided to them. And to say the three were happy would be overkill.

No they were happy. Happy to have the sympathies of Konoha with them.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Sandaime looked at the genin team.

"Your mission was to retrieve Tora."

"It didn't say dead or alive." Naruto pointed out.

"So you killed it?" Old Sarutobi was really getting it.

"Technically Sasuke killed it since he couldn't hold his temper." Naruto said again.

He and Sasuke were standing in front of the Hokage's desk. Sakura and Shisui had mysteriously disappeared when he needed them.

And he was stuck dealing with Naruto who was clearly on Sasuke's side.

And Uzumaki Naruto always won an argument. Kyuubi and Madara were living examples. H even won an argument against Mikoto so how was the poor Hokage able to win?

And ridiculous as it was Naruto had a point. The mission report had _not _said to bring Tora back alive.

Sandaime rubbed his temples and turned to the Damiyo's wife who looked crestfallen.

He looked at Naruto for help.

"Mam." Naruto said in the most polite voice she could manage.

"Before dying on the battlefield against Uchiha Sasuke of Konoha, Tora sama of Damiyo Palace stated his last will to me. In it he mentioned that should his mistress be lonely without him she can buy another one to keep her company."

He old lady looked at the calm blond in front of her. Hokage thought that all hell would break lose but the old woman smiled.

"Sure. There's a cat I always wanted. I am going to go buy it. And Hokage san don't worry the payment of this mission will still be received."

That was when Uzumaki Naruto was added to Hiruzen Sarutobi's possible list of Hokage's successor candidates.

() () () () () () () () () ()

As soon as Fugaku entered the living room he tripped and caught himself quickly.

"What's all this junk?" He looked at the two kids sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by letters and envelopes.

"Thank you letters." Naruto said.

"From jounins, chunins and most of the genin force." Sasuke added.

"Why?" Fugaku looked puzzled.

"For disposing off Tora." Sasuke replied waving his hand carefree.

"You killed the cat?" The shock in his voice was clear.

"Like I said, _Sasuke _killed the cat." Naruto huffed.

If Tora had not been such a demon, Fugaku was sure he would have visited its grave with flowers.


	16. Enter the Wave

**CHAPTER 16: Enter The Wave**

"That's it." Sasuke and Naruto and even the polite Sakura shouted at the Sandaime. The boys must be rubbing on her. Shisui looked at him pleadingly.

"Jiji. I'll lose my life if you don't give them a C-rank mission."

Sarutobi sighed.

"Fine, fine. Tazuna san you may enter."

An old man with a needle in his mouth and a straw had on his head.

"Eh, these brats?" Tazuna frowned.

"And Kyuu-chan too."

"The what?"

"He doesn't know me?" Kyuu-chan screamed.

"He's not from here." Naruto replied bored.

"But…"

Outside Sasuke and Sakura saw their teammate struggling and concluded that he was probably having an argument with Kyuu-chan and did the only logical thing. Sasuke took out his snack consisting of tomatoes and started eating and Sakura started polishing her kunai.

Shisui seeing his students enter their 'calm insane mode' as he liked to call it, retreated with Icha Icha Paradise in hand.

Tazuna gave one more look at the team that was going to protect him and fainted.

() () () () () () () ()

The company of five walked on the dusting path that lead to Wave when immediately four of them spotted a puddle . Needless to say due to Naruto's and Saskue's sadistic nature they did what one should expect.

They walked over the puddle unusually and intentionally exerting more pressure when they stepped on it.

Sakura winced and Shisui slightly felt sorry for the ninjas.

They waked two steps forward when Shisui was captured in chains and disappeared. Tazuna thinking that Shisui had been killed gaped.

The two ninja headed for Tazuna only to be kicked by Sasuke and Naruto respectively. Sakura tied them up and the three started walking again.

"Hey you're missing me." Shisui appeared from behind a tree.

"Don't worry. Tazuna san." Naruto said politely. "Even if Shisui sensei has perished we will not abadon you."

"Hey." Came a protesting voice. Guess who?

() () () () () () () ()

"So Tazuna san." Shisui for once was serious. "Mind telling me why ninjas are after you on a C-rank mission?"

They were on the boat heading towards the land of Waves.

"Because I doubt he can pay." Naruto turned to Shisui. "If you look at his clothes and attire it's easy to guess. And his sake is of low quality."

Shisui was impressed by the observation but…

"Sake? How did you know?"

"Me and Naruto have been drinking since we're four. Of course we know." Shisui gasped while Sakura just murmured "Right remembered."

"WHAT?" Shisui bellowed.

"By the way." Naruto glared at the rest of his team. "The mission goes on."


	17. Fighting a Mummy

**CHAPTER 17: Fighting a Mummy**

"How long?" Sasuke complained while dragging his feet.

"Geez, Sasuke." Sakura sighed. "Even I am not complaining."

"That's because…" Sasuke stopped and suddenly started throwing kunai everywhere.

"What the hell are you doing? You just murdered every single bird, squirrel and heck ants in one mile radius. And …" walking towards the bushes Naruto grabbed something. A rabbit. "…how the hell the one thing that was supposed to get hit is still alive?"

"I was just singling it out." Sasuke said mournfully.

"By killing everything else?" Naruto deadpanned.

Just then a swish was heard.

"Duck." Shisui yelled. The other four complied. Shisui grabbed the sword swiftly with one hand and threw it back. It was caught by a bandaged hand.

"It's a mummy." Sasuke said.

"A mummy?" Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"Definitely a mummy." Naruto added seriously.

"Guys." Shisui sweatdropped. "That's Zabuza Momochi you know. A- rank missing nin. Demon of the bloody mist."

"But he's covered in bandages. And mummies are covered in bandage." Naruto clarified.

Zabuza's eyes twitched.

"Shunshin no Shisui. Those are some annoying brats you got there. I wonder how should I kill them?"

A thick mist covered their surroundings.

"Head, neck, liver so many points that are fatal. Which one should I aim for?"

"Why don't you go for the brain? Given the skull would be thick especially Sasuke's and Shisui sensei's but getting Sakura's is easy." Naruto offered.

Zabuza nearly fell in the lake. "Shisui what the hell is wrong with them?"

"Believe me. You wouldn't want to know." Shisui replied dryly.

"Anyways." He addressed his team. "Get into formation. I'll fight him."

Shisui attacked Zabuza only to find it's a water clone. Zabuza was onto him in seconds.

"Water Dragon jutsu."

Shisui dodged and activated his Sharingan.

"So you wanna play with water?" Shisui smirked.

"Water it is," And he jumped into the water.

All three of his student facepalmed. Zabuza made a mental note to bring some sanity pills next time he encounters with leaf shinobi.

"Sensei." Sasuke said in a frustrated voice.

"You participated in a Great Shinobi War. You should know not to go into enemy's territory.

Shisui looked at them and realized it. "Ooops I forgot."

Meanwhile Tazuna made a mental note to hide behind the genins instead of the jounin if he needed to.

Zabuza taking his chance attacked with his sword in his hands.

Quickly making seals Shisui yelled. "Fire ball jutsu."

"Water Prison jutsu." Zabuza yelled at the same time.

Result:

Shisui's jutsu backfired at him and trapped him in the water prison. When the smoke cleared inside the water ball Shisui clearly resembled a roasted pig.

Zabuza smirked and turned to the others.

"What are you going to do now, huh? I have captured your sensei." He taunted.

"Great feat." Sasuke answered sarcastically. " Me and Naruto managed to roast him when we were 3 days old."

Zabuza obviously blanched at how carefree Sasuke threw the comment.

Naruto fished out a kunai and threw it at the water ball. It hit dead center and the ball popped.

"What the- ?" Zabuza looked between Naruto and Shisui shocked.

"Simple. Even a three year old can tell you need a needle to pop a balloon." Sakura clarified.

Zabuza wanted to kill the person who had invented the jutsu if a three year old could rescue the hostages. Fortunately Nidaime Hokage was already dead.

Just then Shisui's lightning strike hit him and he fell unconscious.

"Now that's how a mummy should drop. I mean they're _supposed to be dead." _Sakura commented right as a hunter nin appeared.

"I thank you for your cooperation. Now I can get rid of him."

"You're hunting mummies?" Sasuke asked clearly interested.

"I'm hunting ninjas." The hunter nin clarified.

"So…" Sasuke paused. "He was actually a ninja?"

"A ninja mummy Sasuke. A ninja mummy." Naruto patted him on the shoulder.

The hunter nin was clearly amused.

"If you may I am taking his body to dispose it." He said.

"Wait." Naruto cried. He quickly dashed to Zabuza's side, took out a ribbon and tied a bow around his head.

"There, as a present from Konoha."

The hunter nin sweatdropped, picked up Zabuza nad ran as fast as he could, glad to be out of there, if not looking back is an indication.

"Shisui sensei. You smell like barbeque." Naruto addressed his very much charcoaled sensei.

"Shut up." Came the reply.

**I just realized that writing Fight scenes with humor is hard unless one of the fighting parties is confirmed to have an 'I – was – insane – the – moment – I – was – born' disease. **


	18. Chakra is Magic

**CHAPTER 18: Chakra is Magic**

Shisui was groaning. Well what do you expect? Mummies are legendary according to philosophers and he did fight one. And _played _a part in killing it.

Hn. Zabuza Momochi must be rotting in hell right now.

Just then Sasuke burst into the room he was lying followe mop of blond hair.

"Sensei we made a shocking revelation." He yelled.

Shisui just raised his eyebrow happily, a stupid grin etched on his face. Naruto catching the look spoke up.

"Other than Sasuke is a total teme. Yes."

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"Revelation?" Shisui interjected.

"Oh yeah." Naruto was all seriousness.

"Zabuza is alive."

And that was when Shisui fainted. _Again._

() () () () () () () () () ()

"So sensei what exactly are we doing?" Sakura asked confused.

"Working on stealth" Shisui replied passively.

He was still pissed at Zabuza for tricking him.

"Why?" Sasuke whined, as usual.

"To conceal yourselves in mist while I take care of Zabuza." Shisui barked.

"Sensei." Naruto said in a tone that they all knew. He was going to start one of his lectures again. Smart-ass.

"The mist would be _laced _with Zabuza's chakra. Even _air _cannot escape. And you how stealthy it is."

Shisui did a mental check and his eye twitched.

"Do whatever you want. I'm going to bed." Leaving three bewildered genin behind.

() () () () () () () () () ()

"Why do you even try? You're going to try anyway?"

All three genin's eyes twitched.

"But we aren't even trying. We're lazing around the house moping about a tomato looking sensei." Sasuke whined.

"You're still going to die." Inari screamed.

"Oh for the love of it." Sakura threw her hands up.

Kyuu chan was screaming at Naruto to kill the brat who had insulted him.

Naruto, trying to being Hokage and all, ended the thing diplomatically.

"Hey Inari. I have magic."

This caught the young boy's attention.

Naruto concentrated hard and made a chakra ball in his hand,

"It's… it's…" Inari's eyes were wide.

"It's magic." He made out.

Everyone sweatdropped.

So all hostilities aside, Inari changed completely and Naruto understood the theory of Rasengen.

() () () () () () () () () ()

**I know, not exactly my best chapter and short too. But I am kinda in middle of a crash course. So sorry.**


	19. What happened at Kannabi Bridge?

**CHAPTER 19: What happened at the Kannabi Bridge?**

"You know what? Those who break rules maybe trash, Kakashi but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash. Rin is our teammate. We have to rescue her."

Obito finished his o so famous speech before the Rin rescue mission.

"Fine." Kakashi said getting up, where he had fallen after Obito had punched him.

"Eh? What?"

"I mean we should totally save Rin."

"You were against it a second ago."

"I was?"

"Yes."

"Well you see. Saving Rin is troublesome but listening to you is more troublesome. So let's go save her."

"Huh? That didn't make any sense. Oi Kakashi wait up."

() () () () () () () () () ()

"Kakashi behind you." Obito yelled, three tomoes spinning in both his eyes.

Courtsey to the shout Kakashi failed to notice the small stone right in front of his feet, tripped on it and successfully evaded the strike that would have cost his eye. Again.

Suddenly there was a yellow flash and in five seconds, Minato had taken care of all the enemies.

"Kakashi I am so proud of you. You knew exactly how to use my Hiraishin kunai." Minato smiled at his prized student.

"Yeah about that." Kakashi said blank faced. "You see I tripped."

"Huh?" Came Minato's reply.

"The kunai must have fallen when I tripped. So humiliating. Tch. Now I know how dad felt."

"Wait what?"

"I'm going to perform Sepakku."

"Eh? Oi oi Kakashi. Wait a sec. What the hell happened to you? You _are _Kakashi right?" Minato panicked.

"Must kill myself." Kakashi chanted.

"Oi are you listening? Kakashi?"

Obito who was seeing the drama from the sidelines deadpanned.

"Must have hit the guy too hard."

"Ummm. Did I miss anything?" Rin asked Obito.

"Nah. Nothing important."

"Kakashi don't perform Sepakku. What about the bridge? Kushina is so going to kill me if I brought back your dead body. Come on. Shit. Oi Rin. Obito. A little help here? Someone stop him."

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**Emerald Solstice (cool name by the way) mentioned that they want to see more of Kakashi. So here you go. Don't worry. He didn't perform sepakku. Or Naruto wouldn't be born. Probably. And rest of you thanks for the encouragement.**


	20. The Great Kyuubi Bridge

**CHAPTER 20: The Great Kyuubi Bridge**

**Long time no see. Sorry. I forgot to tell you this story was on temporary Hiatus due to my exams and other stories. **

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Shisui's students had disappeared. Like 'vanished into thin air' disappeared.

And he had to fight Zabuza and what was the kid's name again? Haku, alone.

"When I told them to learn stealth, I doubt this was what I meant." He thought cursing them.

"Where are the little brats?" Zabuza taunted. "Too scared that they ran away?" He swung his sword while the fake hunter nin chuck senbon at him from a distance.

Shisui winced as another senbon hit him in the shoulder.

'Maybe I should chuck the three at Kakashi or Obito. At least they'll drill all that - those who disobey rules are trash but those who abandon friends are worse than trash - ideology inside their heads.' Shisui thought. 'Coz I feel plenty abandoned here.'

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"Is this all?" Naruto looked over his shoulder.

A hoard of bodies surrounded the two genins.

"Apparently." Sasuke shot back.

"Heeey Guuyyss." Came an overly nice voice across the corridor. "I ffoooouunnd hiiimm."

Sasuke and Naruto shared a look. Oh_ God_. Apparently _someone_ really had a death wish if they made Sakura like that.

Sure enough the sight that greeted them could actually be considered merciful.

Sakura held Gato by the collar. By the looks of it he was dead and a mysterious white foam was coming out of his mouth.

"What did ya do to him?" Naruto asked warily.

"Oh nothing really." Sakura said sweetly. "He just called me a fat cow when I interrupted his lunch so I decided to have a little..._Fun_. Yes. Fun." And she started laughing hysterically.

'He really _did _have a death wish.' Both boys thought.

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"We're back." Sasuke yelled at top of his lungs.

He was immediately hit on the head by both of his teammates.

"Stealth Sasuke. Stealth." Naruto shook his head in mock disappointment.

All three dodged the kunais that came there way saw... Their own sensei trying to kill them?

"I think he finally lost it." Sakura whispered to the other two.

"Nah." Sasuke said back. "It's just his 'Curse of Love' evolving into 'Curse of Hatred.' "

"What?" Sakura looked at him skeptical.

"Like I said -"

"Would you two shut up? We have to fight a mummy, a lying actor, fake hunter nin and a psychotic, out of control sensei." Naruto interrupted.

"Why?" Sakura whined. "Didn't we get rid of Gato?"

"You got rid of Gato?" Zabuza screeched while Shisui just stopped in his tracks, his face morphing into a smile as if saying 'Oh is that what you were doing?'

"Great. How am I going to get my pay now?" Zabuza swung his sword.

"He wasn't gonna pay you either way." Naruto informed him.

"Why would I listen to a bunch of brats who insist that I am a mummy?"

"Point taken." Naruto muttered.

Suddenly at the back of Naruto's mind, in a corner of a dark, creepy sewer, a voice rang out.

"Naruto, let me out." Kyuu-chan said.

"I think I am better at umm... _negotiations_ then you." Naruto said rolling his eyes.

"I won't nag you for a week."

Thus Naruto let him out.

"Zabuza, Yo." Kyuu-chan's chibi version held out his paw.

"Who are you?" Zabuza glared at him.

"That's not important." Kyuu-chan waved in dismissal.

Behind the scenes one could hear Sasuke mutter. "Not_ important_? He was just trying to kill Tazuna for not knowing him a weak ago. The world is actually coming to an end."

Naruto told him to shut up.

"...What _is _important is that I've got your wife's phone number and I'll tell her you're cheating on her if you don't leave immediately." Kyuu gave a maniacal grin.

Zabuza paled.

"We're leaving." He told Haku.

"But..." Haku started.

"No buts." Zabuza cut in and before he could mutter a word Haku was grabbed by the collar and sped away from the bridge.

Meanwhile the occupants of the bridge looked at Kyuu in awe.

Naruto turned to his tenant.

"I'll cut down on chakra rent but we're making plans together. Deal?"

"Deal." Kyuu shook his paw.

'We're doomed.' The rest thought.

And thus the name of the bridge was decided as 'The Great Kyuubi Bridge.'

() () () () () () () () () ()

"...and thus Zabuza retreated." Shisui concluded his report.

The Sandaime looked at Shisui and rubbed his temples.

"If this is what I have to endure after every C-rank mission Team 7 is gonna take I'll turn into a bigger alcoholic than Tsunade."

() () () () () () () () () ()

Somewhere in Kiri Zabuza stopped running.

"Haku?"

"Yes?"

"Do I even have a wife?"

"...No."

"..."

"I tried to tell you."

"..."

() () () () () () () () () ()

**Before anyone nags me about the lack of cell phones in canon, I assure you there **_**are **_**cell phones present.**


	21. About Aliens and Hospitals

**Chapter 21: About hospitals and aliens**

Gaara was groaning.

"Everything alright, lil brother?" Kankrou asked.

"No." He snapped. "Shukaku is playing football again."

"Maybe if you hadn't told him to go to bijuu mental hospital he would still be screaming blood." Temari suggested.

"What kind of hospital turns a blood loving psycopath into a football loving psychopath is beyond me. And if I hadn't sent him Yashamaru would have died." Gaara retorted.

"Though I am still here." Yashamaru answered.

"So _why_ exactly _are you here_ with us?"

Kankrou turned to him.

"Well we're invading Konoha. Kazekage sama said one more person from inside would do us good." Baki explained.

"So how long is it to Konoha? I want to rest." Gaara yawned.

"What the hell, lil brother? You're not even walking."

Kankrou pointed to a sand cloud that Gaara was occupying and was flying on.

"You can always use Crow." Temari offered.

"That would be a complete waste of chakra. And what are we going to do if we get attacked by an enemy?"

"Gaara can release Shukaku on them?" Yashamaru suggested.

"Nah he's just gonna throw footballs at them." Gaara shook his head.

"So when we plan on releasing Shukaku on Konoha, it meant taking their ninjas out by footballs?" Baki asked puzzled.

"I think dad does not know that Shukaku doesn't scream murder anymore." Temari said thoughtfully.

"So the invasion has already failed?" Yashamaru looked at the others.

"Yeah."

"So what are we going there for?"

"Let's go sightseeing." Gaara said cheerfully. "I heard there are a lot of tourists spot there."

And everyone forgot that the _main_ reason they should be going was for the Chunin Exams.

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"Is it ritual to bump into your guest when he enters the village?" Kankrou asked the blond in front of him while holding Konohamaru by the collar.

Naruto examined the guy from head to toe, purple make up aka war paint visible on his face, black cat like hood.

Conclusion.

He had run into some one weird. Again.

"If it is customary for the guest to hold the host by the collar I guess then your statement is justified as well." Naruto replied nonchalantly.

"Huh?" Kankrou looked at him stupidly.

"He means that put the poor kid down, you idiot." Temari bonked on his head.

"Right."

"I'm sorry." Gaara told the trio. "Please don't mind my brother."

"It's okay Gaara san." Sakura assured.

"So you're here for sightseeing?" Sasuke asked.

"Yep."

"I could show-"

"NO" Both Sakura and Naruto cut him off.

"What? Why?" Sasuke asked startled.

"They'll get lost if you show them the way." Sakura twitched at him while Naruto politely apologized.

"Excuse us. Enjoy your stay."

And they bailed out.

() () () () () () () () () ()

"Uchiha Shisui, jounin instructor of Team 7 nominate Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto for Chunin Exams."

"But they are just rookies." Iruka yelled.

Shisui looked at him for one whole minute.

"Jiji. I also nominate Umino Iruka for admission to a mental hospital."

() () () () () () () () () ()

"Oh a genjutsu." Sasuke yelled.

"Sasuke just because you have the Sharingan to see through a genjutsu it doesn't mean to go announcing to every team before exam." Naruto glared at him.

As they passed the commotion into the hallway a green blur rushed passed them.

"Oh my God. Which alien are you?" The trio yelled.

"I am no alien. My name is..."

"Guys we need to evacuate now." Naruto yelled.

"Umm please listen to me." The guy tried again.

"Tch. Naruto where's the ANBU?"

"I'm Rock Lee." Lee yelled.

"What Lee from Rock Planet? Then you're really an alien."

"Sakura san you're amazing. Will you go out with me? I vow to protect you with my life." Lee gave his 'cool' pose.

"Sorry umm Lee from Rock Planet, but I don't want my kids to be aliens so I apologize."

And with that the trio disappeared.

"Strange." Lee muttered.

"Smart." TenTen muttered.

"And here I thought fate had decided that I should know their names." Neji said in a matter of factly way.

"Neji please don't make me classify you as an alien from Fate Planet." TenTen facepalmed.

Neji huffed while Lee only looked with confusion both at his teammates and the spot where are heroes disappeared.

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**Alright. Long time no see, guys. Been busy. I had exams. Sorry. No other excuse.**

**And. Yes. Calling Itachi Nee-san was 100% intentional. And Uchihas **_**were **_**kind of idiots for everything with Shisui on top of the list. Seriously what was the guy thinking going to Danzo of all people **_**alone.**_


	22. A Horror Comedy

**CHAPTER 22: Chunin Exam: A Horror Comedy**

"Sasuke kun, Naruto kun. I mmiiiisssseeeedddd yyooooooouuuuuuuuuu." Ino flung herself at them.

Years of dodging practice resulted in her colliding with the wall.

"And here's a pig from the fangirl planet." Sakura sighed. "You'll be less enthusiastic and more analytical of your actions after you spent a month with them." She scoffed.

Ino pointedly ignored her and jumped on Sasuke again. The victim yelled and tried to get her off with no success. The rest of their teammates sweatdropped.

A silver haired guy walked towards the group.

"Yakushi Kabuto." The guy said as Akamaru barked from Kiba's jacket. "You guys might wanna keep it down. You're rookies right? Figures. You won't have the tension everyone else is taking."

"Is that's why you're hair's white? You must take a lot of tension." Sasuke asked curiously.

"No no." Kabuto sweatdropped. "It's natural. Anyway I could help you if you want. I've taken the exam 7 times already."

"Woah. Then you must be naturally old." Sasuke said understanding.

"No. I am still 16." Kabuto protested. This was not going towards where it should be.

"So like I was saying I have info cards…"

Sasuke cut him off by patting on his shoulder.

"Don't worry. This time will be a good luck charm for you. Don't give up old man."

Kabuto gritted his teeth. Uchihas were supposed to be the mightiest clan in Konoha. But oh Gods the boy was really stupid.

But at least he earned his trust. Even if it is as an old man.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Any standard, sane shinobi could after some time conclude that the objective of the first part of the chunin exam is to cheat.

Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke were neither standard nor sane. And that's why a single pinkette was worried… or freaking out.

Because both of the said ninjas were sitting idle.

More specifically Naruto was busy in trying to ignore Hinata who was blushing like a tomato to his next and Sasuke… well Sasuke was kicking the guy in front of him. Literally.

The said guy looked as if he wanted to snap at Sasuke but that meant looking behind which meant immediate disqualification.

Finally he could not take it anymore and all happened as it was supposed to happen.

Sakura sighed in relief, when she saw Sasuke kick another one, this time to his front right. It wasn't after nearly everyone around Sasuke had been failed due to his antics when she realized that Sasuke was actually trying to make people drop out. And the thought was so scary that her pencil dropped from her hands.

Sasuke thought of a good idea? Sasuke? He was a relative of Shisui for goodness sake. How can he think of something… something… actually thoughtful?

She looked back at Naruto who was amused at Sasuke's antics.

'Oh whatever.' She decided. And once again repelled Ino who was trying to get into her mind.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Ino was frustrated. Forehead girl had gotten better. Probably because she was on Sasuke kun's and Naruto kun's team. How many times had she repelled her jutsu? Ino had lost count. So she settled for Naruto instead.

Imagine her shock when she got stuck with a blank question paper and Hinata literally clinging to her.

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Shikamaru was proud of his intelligence. But right now he was as confused as a newborn baby.

Apparently to him, Sasuke and Naruto knew something all of them didn't or they were plain weird. Plain weird by the standards of Nara. Otherwise they won't be playing… wait was that Naruto folding his question paper into a plane? What the…?

() () () () () () () () () ()

Gaara watched the trio he met previously, very intently.

From the time he had met Uzumaki Naruto, Shukaku had riled up considerably and was screaming something about 'Kurama… Long lost rival… Want to throw footballs at his head.' Or something.

Now he knew why. Konoha was visibly more fun than Suna.

So he too discarded his pencil and watched.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Kabuto had watched and watched and watched the whole time.

'I thought they were _rumors._ What _is_ with this village?"

() () () () () () () () () ()

Ibiki's eye twitched. The examiners shifted nervously. Of course they could see what their head was seeing. 78 genins remaining. They had remained calm during the last question. Moreover the Uchiha sama was even kind enough to mention that it was a test. Like he had even tried to _attempt _any of the given questions.

What was more all the class, hell even the deadliest looking ninja had snickered on the comment. And to say it in one way or another all of them were… impudent.

Especially the Uchiha and Uzumaki heirs. They were buffoons. Ibiki had heard rumors and now he was experiencing the terror first hand. His test, the test everyone feared turned into a comedy class.

And for the first time in his life he prayed that Anko actually arrives early.

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**I apologize in advance as the next update is going to be in June Because I'm really busy.**


	23. Forest of Pranks

**CHAPTER 23: Chunin Exam: Forest of Pranks**

Anko as tradition or according to _her _traditions flew in from the window.

"Hi there brats. I am your second examiner, the sexy and single, Anko…" Her voice caught in her throat as her eyes fixed on something or rather _someone _in between.

Ibiki trailed her gaze and then swiftly caught Anko before she tried to exited from the now broken window.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ibiki hissed.

Anko glared back at him.

"Look I may be known as suicidal but even I don't go near the devil duo."

A cough interrupted the two.

Izumo was looking at them and then motioned towards the genins who were looking interestingly at them both, some amused, some *shudder* day dreaming.

"Anko take them. Anywhere I don't care. Just _away._"

() () () () () () () () () ()

"A heaven scroll and an earth scroll. The teams that have both in five days and they reach the tower pass. Now get in the forest."

From reading point of view it seems a serious speech and it would be in reality if Anko won't be around a mile far from the genins while giving her speech.

() () () () () () () () () ()

"You know what that Anko Lady was giving us fearful glares while explaining."

Sakura told the other two while fumbling with the scroll.

"I think she looks familiar to me." Sasuke told.

"Everyone looks familiar to you." Sakura sighed.

"I do live _in _Konoha after all." Sasuke shot back.

"… Is it me or are you getting smarter? At this rate my parents might approve of you after 15 years or so." Sakura mused thoughtfully.

"Oi." Sasuke shouted indignantly.

"So who should carry the scroll? Me?" She asked.

"Give it to Naruto." Sasuke told her.

The pink haired girl turned to her blond teammate.

"Here, Naruto." She extended her hand.

"Naruto?" She tried again when he didn't answer.

Suddenly Naruto turned towards his two teammates.

"I've decided." He said seriously.

The other two shared obvious glances. This was bound to go somewhere insane or… really fun.

Naruto grinned a cheerful smile, which was a little too cheerful in the others' opinion.

"Let's make everyone drop out."

() () () () () () () () () ()

To be completely honest Kabuto had no idea how he got here. No wait, who is he kidding? He obviously came here to spy on the Uchiha. What he didn't know was why he was with his team making insane plans to change the whole forest of death into a death ground.

Note the sarcasm.

But he was impressed.

Uzumaki Naruto had large chakra reserves.

Evidence: The whole forest was _littering _with Narutos.

"When did you learn the Shadow Clone jutsu?" Sasuke looked frowning at him.

"I might have coaxed it out of Itachi because I _had _the chakra. Don't try it." He warned after seeing what was going through Sasuke's mind.

Sasuke stuck out his tongue at him.

"Shut up you two and let's get started." Sakura sighed.

() () () () () () () () () ()

"Sakura pass up the eggs."

"Ouch… Don't throw them at me."

"What the hell are you guys doing, wasting tomatoes? They come expensive you know."

"He's wasting tomatoes? That's the food of the Gods."

"Sasuke?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

() () () () () () () () () ()

Team Shisui had a breaking record of arriving in 3 hours at the tower.

Kabuto had the breaking record of making safely at the tower without getting into Team 7's traps with his team.

The others not so much.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Shikamaru knew it was Naruto's team who was behind this but what his intelligence failed to tell him how to evade the traps.

He gritted his teeth. He was irritated. Getting hit by these traps meant, dirtying his clothes and then he had to wash it off. Too troublesome.

"Oh my god. My hair," Ino wailed from next to him as another egg fell on her head.

"What would Sasuke kun say?"

"Your _Sasuke kun _is the one who put all these traps ."

The look in Ino's eyes told him that it was the wrong thing to say. Because the next thing he knew was Ino setting off every trap screaming

"I'll accept your traps of love Sasuke kun."

Shikamaru turned to Chouji for help but the sight that awaited him was not much better. Apparently Chouji was trying to catch tomatoes and eat them every time they fell.

Shikamaru thought of crashing his head into a nearby tree. Nah. Too troublesome.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Hinata's Byakugan was very profitable in this kind of situation. If she would just use it.

The Problem:

"Hinata it doesn't matter how amazing these traps are we have to avoid them." Kiba yelled at his teammate.

"Look Shino has already fainted. His bugs can't take raw eggs."

Hinata fumed.

"Naruto kun worked so hard to put these pranks. We will _not _avoid them." She glared at Kiba.

And thus the blue haired harebano came into existence.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Poor Lee didn't even realized his teammates were using him as a tomato repellent. (like mosquito repellents)

"Oh these unyouthful tomatoes and eggs are attacking us while hiding. No worries my youthful teammates. My youthfulness will repel them all. My attacks are so youthful that even the most unyouthful enemies brim with youthfulness after getting attacked by their youthfulness. I, Rock Lee, will become as youthful as my youthful sensei. Some unyouthful eggs and tomatoes can't defeat my youthfulness. If I cannot do this act of youthfulness I would show Kohoha my youthful spirit by doing 2000 youthful lap around the village youthfully. And if I can't do that youthfully, I'll do 5000 pushups. Yosh. Here I come my unyouthful enemies."

Believe it or not after that speech not even one egg or tomato dare approach the team so they would not be effected by Rock Lee's youthfulness.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Zaku blasted another egg out of his face.

"I so want to kill someone." He screeched.

"You've already killed so many eggs and tomatoes. Why do you still wanna kill?" Kin asked annoyed.

"They're tomatoes." Zaku hissed as if stating the obvious.

"They could have made a pretty good breakfast you know." Kin retorted.

Zaku opened his mouth and shut it and opened it again.

"Dosu!" He called to his other teammate.

Dosu put his hand on his chin.

"You know." He started. "She does have a point."

Zaku could only glare at the two.

() () () () () () () () () ()

As soon as Gaara send his sand to scout the area around them he felt vibration. Like a million.

Puzzled he retreated only to find his sand bleached red.

Kankrou screamed like a girl.

"Oh my God Gaara. You killed someone."

"Not someone rather someones. That's too much blood." Temari said thoughtfully.

"I did felt over a million vibrations." Garra frowned.

"You killed _everyone_?" Both siblings jumped back.

"Calm down." Gaara said inspecting his sand.

"They're tomatoes."

"You killed tomatoes?" Kankrou said horrified. "How could you? They're the most holy food on earth." He shouted.

The other two gave each other 'He's gone insane again' look.

() () () () () () () () () ()

Sasuke sneezed.

"Caught a cold?" Sakura asked.

"No. It's a good sneeze I think."

"Good sneeze? According to my knowledge sneezing build up pressure in the lungs which can damage them if not properly released." Sakura informed.

Sasuke gave her 'I don't understand gibberish' look.

"Are you trying to be a medic nin?" Naruto asked her.

"Yep."

"Do you want me to introduce you to Tsunade baa chan?"

Sakura squealed and hugged Naruto who tried to get out of her hold.

"First." Naruto and Sasuke smirked. They handed her a bottle.

"Is that alcohol?"

"Tsunade baa chan and alcohol has to be in the same sentence."

Sakura just shrugged, took the bottle and drank.

She _did _need a drink around these two.

() () () () () () () () () ()

**This makes it officially the longest chapter I've written for this fic and my personal favourite. I swear I slammed my head into the laptop a few times writing Lee's speech.**


	24. Behind the Scenes

**CHAPTER 24: Adopting the Devils: Behind the scenes**

Chaos. The best word to describe the council right now. Granted it was just a few days after the Kyuubi attack but it was always chaotic nonetheless.

The Sandaime coughed loudly in his hand to get the attention of the blabbering idiots and they immediately quietened.

"Thankyou." He addressed. "Now to the main issue. It has been brought into my view that the Uchiha clan want to adopt Naruto and I have granted my consent-"

"Absolutely not." An unnamed, unimportant random person shouted.

"Why?"

"We can't let the demon live between the honourable Uchihas." Another unimportant person shouted.

Before the Third could reprimand the idiot for his slip up a sweet deathly voice rang out in the council room.

"Surely we could work out something hmm. I already purchased a lot of cloths for Naru-chan and he looks so cute in that. Surely you would want to see that. And his cot looks so nice. And what about all of his toys. And his bib and all those hats and he shoes and the socks…"

With each word the people all around started to get further away from her reach.

The Sandaime lowered his hat and smirked unsympathetically.

"…So…" He said cutting off Mikoto. "Any objections?"

Nevertheless, not a single hand was raised.

() () () () () () () () () ()

As Fugaku signed the adaptation papers he looked gleefully at the Third.

"I knew it was a good idea to send Mikoto to the meeting. Everything went on without a hitch."

The sandaime nodded. And the asked.

"You think I can borrow her for the next meeting with the Damiyos?"

"As long as it is in her interest." Fugaku answered, extremely pleased with himself.

The ANBU guards sweatdropped as they saw their Hokage and the Uchiha head rubbing their hands cheerfully with evil smiles on their faces.

() () () () () () () () () ()

**Short I know. But this is best I could do on a vacation Sorry.**


	25. Burning Frying Pans and Bowing to Bugs

**CHAPTER 21: Chunin Exam: Preliminary Match Part 1: Burning Fry Pan and Bowing to Bugs**

The Sandaime looked at the 21 gennins that had passed and tried to differentiate who was who.

The team from Suna was relatively clean while the team from Oto, Team Asuma and Team Kurenai were bleached red and yellow, ready to kill someone.

The culprits were silently laughing their ass off.

The Sandaime cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"As the number of gennins is larger this year we have to conduct preliminaries."

Much to his amusement voices at the back rang out.

"I told you Naruto we should have used spoiled milk too."

"Shut up Sasuke you're giving us away."

() () () () () () () () () ()

"I forfeit." Kabuto raised his hand.

"What?" Sasuke screeched. "Old man you shouldn't give up."

Kabuto's eye twitched.

"Like I said I'm not an old man."

"You're going to give up? That's very unyouthful of you."

Lee shook his head.

"Isn't this happening due to fate?" Neji interjected.

"It's happening because Kabuto is willing to forfeit. If he doesn't..."

"...Then that's also fate," Neji concluded.

"Oh to hell with a lot of you. I'll compete." Kabuto screeched indignantly.

"I'll drop out." Kabuto's teammates Yoroi offered.

() () () () () () () () () ()

**Uchiha Sasuke vs Yakushi Kabuto**

"Me vs Old man? Why?" Sasuke whined. "And I was rooting for him too." He added.

"Must be fate." Several people chorus together.

"See?" Neji turned to Tenten smirking.

"Everyone believes in fate."

"Like _you _needed encouraging." Tenten muttered.

Kabuto slammed his head into the railing. How desperately he wished he would have dropped out.

() () () () () () () () () ()

"Fireball jutsu." Sasuke moved towards his opponent.

"He plans to barbecue him?" Ino asked curiously.

"I wonder what he would taste like?" Chouji drooled.

"Treat him with respect. After all he is human not roasted chicken or mutton or beef or pork." Asuma scolded.

"I think you went the worst of all." Kurenai commented.

"But the worst would be elephant or lizard's meant, don't you think?" Naruto offered loud enough.

"How about scorpion? They're quite frequent in the desert." Gaara stated.

Kabuto gritted his teeth. These people were arguing on how he tasted like. Seriously?

His sanity snapped and he started planning different ways to gut Konoha nins.

Unfortunately or fortunately from my point of view he missed the freaking huge fireball coming at him. And got roasted.

"_He didn't see that big ball right at his face_?" Shisui was surprised. "Even _I_ can see that."

Naruto and Sakura facefaulted.

Kabuto hit the ground unconscious and smoke rising from his body.

"Hey guys." Sakura turned to the others.

"He smells like burnt frying pan instead."

"Disappointing." Several murmurs were heard.

() () () () () () () () () ()

**Aburame Shino vs Zaku**

Shino peered Zaku from under his glasses. Zaku smirked taunting his opponent. Thus the usual pre-match activities.

"They're fighting Kankrou-style? I thought that was only popular in Suna." Temari turned to Gaara confused.

"Kankrou-style?" The debated person looked at his siblings.

"What Temari is trying to say my dear brother is that all the taunting and jeering and insulting and offending and smirking and verbal abuse and..."

"I get it." Kankrou cut Gaara in between, murmured something about teasing brothers and went to sulk in a corner.

Down in the arena Shino did a bug attack. Suddenly Zaku's face changed into one of surprise and then pure delight. He then fell dramatically to the ground, buckled his knees together and bowed.

"All hail the great 'Hymenoptera'. All hail the majestic ' Hymenoptera ' "

He called out bowing.

Silence. For the first time in recorded history an Aburame namely Aburame Shino had a surprised expression on his face.

"That was... Unexpected." Naruto said amused.

"What the hell was that?" Ino pointed towards Zaku.

It was Kin who answered.

"You see his religion worships bugs or something." She said indignantly.

"So does this mean I win?" Shino asked slowly.

Sandaime gave one look to Zaku who was still bowing and declared Shino as winner.

() () () () () () () () () ()

**I have no idea where this came from.**


End file.
